A reader writes:
I lately interviewed for and accepted a job as a nurse on the very small hospital in my very small midwestern city. My beautiful supervisor was very clear about how they’re large supporters of work-life stability, and gave tangible examples of how they help households, as a result of they’ve “small city values.” She is clearly very happy with this reality and places lots of inventory in being a “good” supervisor. I do know among the staff on that ground, and all the things she says appears to be true and never simply lip service.
Properly, I’m pregnant (round 15-16 weeks after I interviewed) however, naturally, didn’t disclose this reality till I had a verbal provide from HR, at which level I requested about some unpaid go away since I received’t be eligible for FMLA. The HR rep requested if I had disclosed my being pregnant in the course of the interview. I answered no, and he or she mentioned one thing alongside the traces of, “In fact not, I didn’t assume so, I’ll let your supervisor know.”
Properly, my supervisor mentioned to me on my first day, “Congratulations in your being pregnant! I hope that I’m very supportive of households and you may’ve informed me throughout your interview.” She appeared, and appears, very miffed. I responded with the standard stuff about the way you by no means know till who you’re interviewing with, that the frequent recommendation is to attend, blah blah blah. Since then, I’ve dedicated to being aggressively regular and am planning to let her work out her angst on her personal.
My query is, in case you are comparatively sure that the place that you just’re interviewing is family-friendly, and you believe you studied that your supervisor shall be … delicate to not being disclosed to, or to being perceived as untrustworthy, does it make sense to reveal? I’m assured (and was assured in the course of the interview) that they’d have employed me both manner. I really feel like I misplaced some political capital together with her.
You possibly can’t know if it’s secure to reveal or not, so it’s best to default to not disclosing. A number of firms say they’re family-friendly however aren’t. And many firms are fairly good at supporting pregnant staff who labored there for some time however may nonetheless balk at hiring somebody who can be out on go away for months quickly after beginning. And a few would rent a pregnant candidate for some jobs however not for others. And certain, perhaps there’s an organization on the market that’s nice about it throughout the board and would at all times fortunately rent pregnant candidates … however you don’t have any manner of realizing from the surface which class this firm is in, which is why it’s at all times safer to not disclose till you’ve been employed.
In some hypothetical scenario the place you’d seen the corporate rent a slew of clearly pregnant candidates, perhaps the calculation can be completely different. Even then, although, you’d be taking the danger that they’d balk at it this time — perhaps even as a result of they’d accommodated so many maternity leaves lately, or perhaps as a result of this specific job made it more durable to accommodate for some cause.
A supervisor who takes that personally and will get upset that you just didn’t “belief” her sufficient to reveal your being pregnant forward of time is a supervisor who actually isn’t that family-friendly in any respect. It’s not family-friendly for her to make it about herself and her emotions, reasonably than understanding that after all folks want to fret about discrimination, and after all you don’t know her nicely sufficient to really feel assured, and there’s a cause the legislation makes it clear you don’t should disclose a being pregnant once you’re interviewing for a job.
Your supervisor being “miffed” that you just didn’t belief her, a stranger, to not unconsciously or consciously issue your being pregnant into her hiring resolution (which is unlawful however occurs on a regular basis) is a very odd response. You didn’t know her! You had nothing to guage on. And albeit, even in case you did know her and nonetheless determined to make use of the authorized safety afforded to you and never disclose, she’d nonetheless haven’t any proper to be miffed as a result of discrimination is actually frequent, and your proper to not be illegally discriminated towards trumps her need to really feel like a trusted ally. (Sarcastically, her response is proving that she isn’t actually a trusted ally anyway.)
And so as to add to all that, at 15-16 weeks you may not have been sharing the information with anybody.
Finally, it’s simply not information she was entitled to.
As for what to do from right here, being aggressively regular and letting her work out her angst on her personal is strictly the precise method.