“I’m a single mother and my son has extreme separation anxiousness. How do I deal with this?”
You need to perceive that he’s been deserted. He doesn’t have a dad and he could also be at that age the place he’s realizing it. “Oh, different individuals have a dad, I don’t. That’s not regular to not have a dad. Everybody else has a dad”, so it’s like an consciousness kind of factor and he’s attempting to deal with it.
He could be considering, “Properly, possibly I did one thing to make my dad depart. What if I did? What if I make mother depart?” There may very well be numerous fears there. He misplaced his dad and doesn’t actually perceive why. Will he additionally lose you?
So he’s “checking” with you each 5 minutes, so to talk, as a result of he’s afraid that he would possibly do one thing to make you allow; ou received’t come again then he’s on their own. It’s concern and he could not even understand it; he in all probability doesn’t.
The most effective issues to do, could be to proceed to inform him EVERY DAY how a lot you’re keen on him, that as a lot is determined by you, you’ll by no means depart him. You promise that you just’re all the time there for him and simply regularly reassure him.
Let him be clingy as a result of if you happen to push him away, it’s simply feeding into his concern that he’s doing one thing to make you allow. He’ll suppose, “Why doesn’t mother need me? Why doesn’t she love me?” Simply proceed to REASSURE him, all by way of the day, “Hey I’m right here, I like you, I’m proper right here. I’m not going wherever, I like you.”
I feel it’s extra about reassurance than something. Be clingy BACK! I do know it’s important to work, I do know you will have one million issues to do as a single mother and I get that, imagine me! However, contain him MORE in what you do. Are you able to discover a “job”, a process for him to do, that whilst you’re working, he can assist? what can he do that will help you extra? Can he empty the dishwasher whilst you’re doing one thing?
The extra useful he feels, the extra he’ll really feel linked to you. Such as you want him, you need him, he’s priceless to you. Do not forget that it’s only a stage proper now, however an necessary one. He must really feel such as you’re not going to depart, so simply proceed to work on that. A lot of further cuddles, go as much as him with out him coming to you, and say, “I like you, gimme a hug,” or “Can I cuddle with you?”
YOU go to him, you pursue him. You be extra clingy to him. He in all probability feels the necessity to really feel needed. His dad doesn’t need him or he’d be there, in his thoughts. He left. So he’s nervous you don’t love him both.
This additionally could be the start of him creating his character and we should always domesticate that, not run from it.
I’m a VERY clingy particular person. It’s who I’m. I wish to all the time be with my future husband. I don’t need him to depart ever. I don’t need him to work exterior the house. I’ve been left…my entire life. My dad’s deserted us. My ex-husband. My church, my associates. I imply, I’ve been deserted, so I’m clingy. I’m not ashamed of it. I LIKE that I’m clingy. I feel it makes me a greater particular person. 💯
With my future husband, I dream of simply laying in mattress holding one another and cuddling all day lengthy at the very least sooner or later per week. ❤️ It’s my favourite (my love language), so I perceive how he may very well be feeling and at that age, not with the ability to even understand it or put it into phrases how he’s feeling. Is bodily contact or high quality time (cuddling with you, holding you, being round you, and many others.) his love language? Is that how HE reads love?
I feel that at sure instances in our lives, everybody goes by way of a clingy stage. Don’t you miss/wish to have a person maintain you once more? I do know that you just do. All of us wanna be clingy at instances. It’s not dangerous, or bizarre, or incorrect! we simply want that, we have to be beloved. we ALL do. ❤️ He’s okay. Nothing is incorrect with him. It’s regular to wish to be needed.
That’s kinda how he’s feeling. Scared, concern, fearful of abandonment, needing love. Take in that point, take pleasure in it, as a result of children develop WAY too quick and fairly quickly, he’ll be gone and also you’ll by no means get these valuable, tender moments again! Benefit from the stage that he’s in, treasure it! It leaves approach too shortly!