Listed below are three updates from previous letter-writers.
1. How do I handle a “common” job with a parallel profession as a musician?
I requested about profession recommendation for musicians a very long time in the past, and I’ve waited a very long time to have an replace I felt like sending. Sadly, the previous couple of years have simply been actually, actually unhealthy. Issues began to go sideways not lengthy after I wrote to you. This system I used to be in was a very unhealthy match for me, and I ended up dropping out lengthy earlier than the tip of it. There have been different unhealthy issues too – I gained’t go into all of it as a result of it could be fairly identifiable.
One main theme of the previous yr has been bizarre and demanding well being issues. Your put up on PMDD was very well timed – it appeared proper across the time I used to be realizing that my explicit premenstrual hell was maybe not, the truth is, regular. I bought medicated for that earlier this yr, which helped so much. I additionally found not too long ago that I’ve CRAZY ADHD, WHO KNEW, and began taking meds for that too – and the distinction is like night time and day! I’m having numerous emotions about the entire scenario. I’m overjoyed to lastly have one thing that works for my mind, but in addition extremely unhappy and offended that it took so lengthy to determine this out.
So many individuals left very sort and useful ideas on the unique put up (thanks all a lot!) and I went again to learn the feedback many occasions. Lots of people steered some kind of company job, and that’s what I’ve ended up doing. After dropping out of college I took a break for just a few weeks, then freelanced and job hunted, and again in March I fell into a short lived place in a company mailroom. I’ve been there for 8 months now, and thus far so good I suppose? It’s a very boring, low stress job. I do numerous knowledge entry and scanning and sorting and making UPS labels and I take heed to numerous podcasts. My coworkers are all very sort, and my bosses appear to love me, and we take turns bringing in snacks each week, which has turned out to be extra vital than I assumed it could be. I’m very underpaid however requested for a elevate a month again when my contract got here up for renewal (thanks Alison for the wording ideas!), and am being persistent in following up 🙂 In the long run, I don’t know that this job or kind of job would be the greatest match – that is my first company job, and it seems that I’m not so good at conditions the place I’ve to take a seat nonetheless for lengthy intervals of time (however at the least I perceive why!!!!). However for the second, it’s okay. I’m treading water, attempting to sock away some cash, finding out the remedy scenario and discovering a brand new equilibrium, doing music issues on the weekends, and customarily setting myself up for my subsequent transfer, no matter that’s.
Anyhow, when you have any musician buddies, please test in on them and perhaps give them a hug. The post-pandemic arts scenario simply actually sucks – so many individuals I do know (myself and my ex-partner included) are transferring on to different issues, as a result of life is simply too rattling costly now and we’re all broke, exhausted, burnt out, and fighting numerous diseases. I’m feeling extra optimistic about my private life than I’ve in a very long time (it’s superb what some constant earnings will do for you!) however I’ve by no means felt extra discouraged about the way forward for the music trade (or, maybe extra precisely, the way forward for not-independently-wealthy musicians within the music trade…). The financial shifts of the previous couple of years are quickly choking off the final income streams accessible to the common musician, and it’s truthfully actually miserable.
Thanks a lot, Alison, for all of the work you place into this website – it’s such an incredible useful resource. And because of all of the commenters – I really like this heat, sort hearted, and supportive little pocket of the web 🙂
2. My boss stated it’s unprofessional to not begin an e mail with a greeting (#2 on the hyperlink)
After my boss emailed me about how I began that single e mail, I ensured all my emails had a “correct” greeting, even in longer e mail chains (there might have been somewhat malicious compliance concerned).
Nevertheless, it was the start of the tip. I began getting unfavorable suggestions from my boss on different minor issues after which blended messages, like “You’re asking too many questions; you need to know your job by now” after which “I’m undecided why you don’t simply ask me that query.”
I may see the writing on the wall and began in search of one other job. I used to be ultimately placed on a PIP, instructed to put in writing the PIP and provide you with objectives for my success, which she then accepted. (Is it simply me, or was that basically bizarre, too?) Regardless of succeeding in all my objectives, I used to be fired with out trigger on the finish of it, with a small severance. I don’t know why I even bothered.
All of this occurred inside six months of a wonderful efficiency evaluation by which I used to be instructed I used to be assembly or exceeding expectations, accompanied by a good elevate.
They marketed for my place at a decrease wage and title, traveled to my metropolis to rent somebody, didn’t, after which transferred all my duties to others.
I used to be fortunate sufficient to seek out one other job shortly, and whereas it has its personal characters and challenges like each job, at the least I haven’t been blindsided. It was really a weird expertise, and I nonetheless surprise what it’s that I did to make her opinion of me change so shortly.
3. Coworker was a jerk after I gave her (solicited) suggestions (#3 on the hyperlink)
I made a decision in the long run to suck it and see. (Word from Alison: this seems to be a Britishism.) I rigorously shared my expertise with my new work buddy (a way more skilled contractor) and she or he revealed she’d had the identical assembly – and that the lady who’d been impolite to me had additionally been equally impolite to her. We mentioned chatting with her supervisor, however the girl in query was about to host a crew assembly that very day and we determined to see how that went first.
Effectively, it was awkward as hell, mainly. It seems this girl is simply outright obnoxious to everybody, about all the pieces, and no one says something!
So, being British, I went with the tried and trusted strategy of aggressive politeness. Each time she was impolite to me over the following few months, I responded with smiling, strong politeness within the face of her coldness and abruptness. Taking this method with impolite folks tends to focus on the rudeness, making them really feel awkward and welcoming comparability from others.
Over the six months or in order that I used to be there, her friends will need to have spoken to her: she slowly turned much less impolite. By the point I left she was extraordinarily good to me, and even pretty good to others.