A reader writes:
I work in a rustic with robust job safety, have a boss who’s reluctant to do efficiency enchancment, and I simply transitioned out of managing a workforce. One in all my reviews was a recent-ish rent I’ll name Pam, who’s mid-career however entry-level. Pam volunteers for an optionally available LBGTQ+ worker useful resource group. She initially joined the group at my suggestion, as a straight ally. (Pam described herself as straight girl with a husband and mentioned she was anxious about being seen as homophobic as a result of she is initially from a non-LBGTQ-friendly nation.) Pam is now the group lead for our area, which is uncommon for an entry-level worker. I by chance discovered that Pam is describing herself as homosexual/bi/queer, out solely to people related to the useful resource group.
I’m skeptical. I believe Pam is straight and exploiting the group … and I’m not sure what my accountability (if any) is right here, as an worker and as a human being. I additionally assume I may very well be mistaken, and I do know Pam is a landmine. Figuring out the landmine half, although, I really feel uneasy for people within the group, none of whom I do know notably effectively.
Right here’s why I believe Pam isn’t being truthful. In her quick time with our firm, she has constantly demonstrated misplaced ambition, attention-seeking, and ethical challenges. Pam believes that simply spending time round higher-ups will get her promoted, even after being repeatedly instructed to ship on her work commitments first. The LBGTQ+ group gives her face time with administrators. Pam additionally craves consideration to a disruptive diploma: she has DM’d and known as busy senior managers 20+ instances a day about trivial or non work-related issues and created drama by inventing crises, then casting herself because the heroine. Popping out to coworkers she barely is aware of and swearing them to secrecy … may very well be true, however sounds rather a lot like one other “Pam Present” episode. Lastly, Pam has not proven good ethics in the remainder of her work. She refuses to do duties or sabotages them as a result of they’re “not essential” sufficient, actively hides her lack of knowledge and progress, and disregards directions. She repeatedly makes careless errors, blames others, and breathlessly chases execs like they’re pop stars whereas disdaining to talk to anybody under senior IC stage (i.e., virtually everybody who she must work together with and be taught from). She will get in a spooky rage when spoken to about these issues, brags about how enticing she thinks she is, and tells outright lies which have affected my relationship with my supervisor.
All in all, Pam just isn’t expert or productive or nice to be round and if it weren’t for the labor regulation safety, I might have fired her outright. So I really feel conflicted about her representing an worker group of any form, even with out suspicion of pretense. Pam is a giant purpose I requested to return to impartial contributor standing. I believe she’s sort of off her rocker and poses a danger, and was not snug managing her once I’m not empowered to mete out penalties. By danger, I don’t imply bodily harmful, however her habits has been so exterior office norms that I wouldn’t belief delicate knowledge or anybody’s reputations and careers round her.
I’ve nobody at work I can talk about this with. Do I proceed to maintain my issues to myself?
Go away it alone. You may be proper that Pam is straight and pretending to not be as a way to acquire some type of benefit with folks within the LBGTQ group, nevertheless it’s additionally doable that she’s not. It’s not unusual for somebody to explain themselves as straight to 1 group of individuals, whereas being out in one other group the place they really feel safer, or to have their identification genuinely evolve over time. Both manner, it’s not one thing you must get into investigating or opining on. The potential hurt if Pam is faking it’s vastly outweighed by the messiness and hurt of making an attempt to police what sexual orientation folks declare (notably at work).
Additionally, there are a lot, a lot greater points with Pam! If you happen to have been nonetheless her supervisor, my recommendation can be to deal with these points very assertively; refusing to do work and sabotaging tasks, repeated errors, refusing to comply with directions, creating pretend crises, interrupting senior managers, and matches of all rage would all be greater than sufficient to concentrate on with out worrying about how she’s figuring out to the LBGTQ group, and are all squarely inside her supervisor’s purview.
None of that’s yours to handle anymore because you’re not her supervisor (though I hope you absolutely stuffed in whoever is now her boss about these issues — and if Pam continues to trigger points to your work in your new function, you must elevate that to her boss). However you’ll be able to comfortably put her participation within the LBGTQ group or something she says about her sexual orientation within the “not my enterprise” column too.