replace: our anti-bullying advisor accused me of bullying him
It’s “the place are you now?” month at Ask a Supervisor, and all December I’m operating updates from individuals who had their letters right here answered previously.
There shall be extra posts than normal this week, so preserve checking again all through the day.
Bear in mind the letter-writer whose anti-bullying advisor accused her of bullying him? Right here’s the replace.
I ended up additionally discussing my state of affairs with my therapist and an in depth pal who’s within the social work subject, each of whom had related responses to you. I then met with my supervisor to share how Mark’s behaviour impacted me and to boost my issues about bringing him into an already fraught setting to supply coaching on such a delicate matter. I instructed her that after numerous reflection and dialogue with trusted help individuals I had come to grasp that I didn’t do something fallacious and definitely hadn’t bullied Mark. My supervisor revealed that she additionally didn’t really feel good after Mark made the accusations, and that she had questioned his conduct within the preliminary assembly as properly. After we talked I didn’t really feel the necessity to meet with Mark once more, so I left it as much as her to observe up with him nonetheless she noticed match.
Disappointingly, our group went forward with the coaching that Mark had been contracted to do. In the course of the coaching he singled me out just a few instances in ways in which had been sufficiently subtle that others wouldn’t discover, however felt fairly pointed. We additionally had a few temporary 1-1 interactions the place he was very chilly with me. Due to the help I acquired from you (and your readers) and the opposite individuals I talked to, I felt assured and didn’t react to his behaviour. By the way, Mark additionally made just a few off-color and sexually suggestive feedback throughout his presentation, which simply underscored how unsuitable he’s for the kind of work he does! It made a few of my colleagues uncomfortable sufficient to convey it to the eye of administration. He had been scheduled for a second follow-up coaching, however he by no means got here again and we didn’t hear anymore about it.
I’ve since moved on from the group to return to high school and I discover there’s a lot much less stress in my life. Thanks once more to you and your commenters for the entire considerate responses and recommendation.
P.S. I simply realized I forgot to say the unique bully. They’re nonetheless working for the group and to my data their behaviour has by no means been addressed immediately. You and quite a lot of commenters accurately identified that my former supervisor’s refusal to handle this subject was on the root of the issue. I feel she believes the bully will stop if she tries to deal with their behaviour immediately and for the reason that bully has a novel set of expertise, they’d be troublesome to interchange because the group operates in a really area of interest sector. Consequently the supervisor has prioritized retaining one drawback worker on the expense of a complete division’s wellbeing. I don’t foresee something altering so long as she is the supervisor and I’m pleased I walked away after I did.