It’s “the place are you now?” month at Ask a Supervisor, and all December I’m operating updates from individuals who had their letters right here answered up to now.
There will probably be extra posts than ordinary this week, so hold checking again all through the day.
Bear in mind the letter-writer who, as the one homosexual man in his division, was requested to take down a photograph of his child? Right here’s the replace.
Shortly after I wrote to you, I talked to HR and requested if there have been any guidelines concerning desk decor and images displayed. There weren’t, and so they suggested me to speak to my supervisor. I used to be more and more upset by the matter, and had a number of sleepless nights. So, I did ask my supervisor for a follow-up 1:1 to let her know that I complied and took down the picture, to ask if particular alternative images have been “acceptable,” and to convey my emotions of being focused.
She was extra nervous than I used to be on the assembly, however her response was largely thatshe was required to handle the matter if somebody felt uncomfortable. I requested her if she requested the individual what particularly was bothering them concerning the picture, and she or he mentioned that she didn’t. I advised her that I’ve encountered prejudice earlier than as a homosexual mother or father and that this felt related. She inspired me to place up some other images so long as there was no nudity. I requested how nudity was being outlined, since you couldn’t see any butt or genitalia within the picture. I requested if a photograph I had of him in a bubble tub was okay, {that a} nipple is perhaps seen. That the bathtub blocked him from the waist down so so far as anybody is aware of he could also be sporting a swimsuit. She mentioned that was fantastic. What if i stored the identical picture up however positioned a “CENSORED” observe over any elements that may indicate nudity? She mentioned that may be fantastic.
I mentioned, “Isn’t it a bit ridiculous to attempt to parse out what another person could also be discovering objectionable?”d I mentioned that I used to be disturbed that this individual wasn’t questioned, that their discomfort was catered to, however nobody appeared equally involved how I would really feel to be requested to censor a photograph of my son.
I documented the dialogue and had plans to place up a number of (non-nude) images of my son in response. I fantasized about conserving the picture up however putting a observe over a part of it that learn “I really feel sorry for small-minded folks” however in the end my coronary heart wasn’t in it. I didn’t need any extra controversy.
Phrase unfold amongst coworkers about my state of affairs and everybody was very supportive of me. Just a few put related “nude however no genitalia” images of their very own youngsters, or an Anne Geddes picture, as their pc monitor’s wallpaper. Nobody seen or complained about that.
For a couple of month I felt unhappy, and indignant, and paranoid, however ultimately I let it go. I by no means did discover out who complained. Regardless of all of that, I’ve continued to develop and thrive in my place on the firm, and “exceeded expectations” at my final evaluation.
Thanks for answering my preliminary question and for asking for an replace on my state of affairs. I had by no means seen the feedback to my state of affairs in your web site prior to now. It was fascinating to see the numerous factors of view, and I felt validated to see that the majority felt that there was most likely some homophobia and prejudice at play, or on the very least it was badly dealt with.