Tuesday, May 21, 2024

my outdated job will not cease asking me to come back again — Ask a Supervisor

A reader writes:

I just lately left my job as a crew lead. I’d been pissed off for a very long time with my function, my workload, the group’s tradition, and my supervisor’s oversight of my crew and me. I used to be very open about all of this with my supervisor, in addition to the influence that stress was having on my well being and household life.

I in the end determined to show in my resignation. This resolution appeared to shock my supervisor and, since I had a heavy and distinctive workload, I put my finish date a number of weeks out. I spent hours upon hours extensively documenting my work and wrapping up my initiatives as a lot as I may. Since summertime is gradual for the group, I hoped that, with all of the work I did earlier than I left, that the crew would get alongside okay till my supervisor discovered a alternative for me.

Moreover, whereas I advised my supervisor and my crew that I’d fortunately reply any questions that got here up for them, I additionally made it extraordinarily clear within the exit interviews I did that I might not return to the group. I did this as a result of, in my first exit interview, it got here out that my supervisor needed to have me come again part-time, possible as a result of I had advised them after I resigned that I had no plans to search for work after leaving.

I left my job and, for the following two months, I didn’t hear something from anybody on the workplace. I hoped that meant that every one the wrap-up I’d executed had labored!

Then, final week, I obtained a ping from somebody who works for my former supervisor — that they had requested this particular person to succeed in out to see if I’d come again to work part-time to deal with the executive components of my outdated job. I politely declined. I obtained a second ping from the identical particular person in the present day, asking the identical query. Once more, I politely declined.

It’s solely doable that the group may have problem filling my outdated function, and I wouldn’t be stunned if there’s turnover on my outdated crew. Whereas I sympathize with how troublesome and disturbing this is likely to be for my former supervisor, I additionally don’t need to be badgered about coming again to work, or made to really feel responsible about my resolution to go away. The badgering and guilt-tripping are two of the explanations I left within the first place!

Do you’ve any recommendations for what I can say to make these asks cease for good, particularly provided that they have been made on behalf of my former supervisor, fairly than coming from that particular person immediately? Ought to I attain out to my former supervisor proactively to nip these asks within the bid?

There’s an honest likelihood that your two clear refusals will put a cease to it; they’re most likely not going to maintain asking you perpetually.

However if you happen to do get one other request to return, you possibly can say: “That is the third request I’ve needed to return, so I’d be grateful if you happen to’d make it actually clear to (supervisor) that that’s not on the desk. This can be a agency and everlasting no. However better of luck with the whole lot there!”

You could possibly additionally e mail your former supervisor immediately and say: “Since Jane has contacted me thrice now asking if I’d contemplate returning, I needed to contact you on to say that it’s not one thing I’m open to, and I’d fairly she or others not proceed to ask. I hope the whole lot goes nicely there and that every one is nicely with you.”

Alternately, you don’t want to speak with them in any respect if you happen to’d fairly not! You possibly can simply ignore these emails — you’ve already made your reply clear, and don’t want to maintain repeating it. Hell, if you wish to, you possibly can set something from their area to go straight to your trash. Personally I wouldn’t do this as a result of I’d need to know in the event that they emailed me about one thing I used to be truly occupied with — like “we discovered that sweater you really liked that went lacking final winter” or “the voodoo doll of Mark that you simply left behind the radiator has come alive and is terrorizing the workplace” or so forth … however some individuals can be prepared to forego these potentialities within the curiosity of simply being executed.

Talking of being executed, this a part of your letter worries me: “I advised my supervisor and my crew that I’d fortunately reply any questions that got here up for them.” In case you’ve gone two months with out them hitting you up with questions, it may not find yourself being an issue, however you need to be ready for the chance that now that you simply’ve declined to return, you would possibly begin getting a bunch of questions in regards to the work itself — how can we do X, the place did you retain Y, are you able to practice Jane to do Z, and so forth. If you wish to, it’s wonderful to reply a few very fast questions (“very fast” means not issues like “are you able to practice Jane to do Z”) however you shouldn’t get sucked into something greater than that. I do know you made the supply, however it’s not affordable for a corporation you now not work for to anticipate you to do greater than reply a few very fast post-exit questions.

In the event that they do begin asking for greater than that, lean on the truth that it’s been two months — “Sorry, it’s been months since I did it, it’s fairly hazy now. Your finest wager is to test the documentation I left.” Or you possibly can merely say, “I actually can’t assist additional, I’m absolutely booked up, good luck with the whole lot!” and simply be executed.

At any time when this matter comes up, you’ll get lots of people saying, “Simply ignore the messages. Don’t reply in any respect.” And you are able to do that if you wish to! You don’t work there anymore; it’s wonderful to simply ignore them. However lots of people — and out of your letter, I believe you’re one in all them — would fairly keep away from that route if they’ll, particularly in the event that they’re making an attempt to keep up relationships at their outdated firm — and in that case, setting agency, express boundaries will often get the job executed.

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